Time Machine Manufacturer Leads White House Protest

by Daniel Brenton

in The High Oddness Report

    Today on The High Oddness Report: a look at a little-noticed Washington D.C. protest march — and behind the scenes at its charismatic leader, and his efforts to speak to an alarming trend.

Alarm clock

WASHINGTON D.C. — A protest march in front of the White House of a group calling itself “Concerned Citizens for Temporal Freedom” clogged sidewalks and spilled onto Pennsylvania Avenue periodically blocking traffic last Friday.

The picketers, roughly 5300 in number, angrily chanted awkward slogans that frequently used scientific terms with more than four syllables.

A tense moment between officers of the Metropolitan Police of the District of Columbia and picketers occurred when an unidentified participant shouted “We are all out of time!” and a broken alarm clock was thrown from the crowd which glanced off of a police officer’s helmet. No arrests were made.

Another officer, who requested to remain anonymous, commented: “What are we going to charge ‘em with, ‘assault with a deadly timepiece’?”

Those curious enough to ask picketers about their cause received a densely-worded brochure and the event’s symbol, which was … a broken alarm clock.

Their issue?

That’s just it. No one understood their issue.

The march was the brainchild of Dr. Lester Fluegel, fifty two year old charismatic spokesman for what is known as the “free time travel movement,” and inventor of the Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum Generator (CSIG), what he claims to be a commercially affordable personal time machine.

Fluegel organized the protest to force attention to the group’s claim that independent time travelers are unable to journey past the year 2017.

They assert the “Black Ops” side of the U.S. government is somehow responsible … and Fluegel claims he has the proof.

Unfortunately, he is choosing not to share it.

“We Have the Future Surrounded!”

Lester Fluegel

Lester Fluegel

Surprisingly, there is a kind of cottage industry that has sprouted up around his CSIG and similar devices produced by garage-based “manufacturers” around the United States. One competitor’s models are frequently available on eBay.

We tracked down Fluegel for an interview in his cozy “fifth wheel” trailer at an RV park in nearby Springfield after the conclusion of the event.

We commented that the term “Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum” was actually coined by novelist Kurt Vonnegut, and that a competitor’s product is called the “Improbability Drive,” having lifted the name whole from the Douglas Adams story The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

“Vonnegut,” Fluegel noted, “worked for General Electric for years, and as you know this is a major government subcontractor. We suspect he had inside knowledge. Adams? He was just a joker.”

As proof that time travel was possible, Fluegel presented a number of unsettling photographs, photographs he called “the good ones:”

  • The crash of a crescent-shaped UFO outside of Roswell, in July of 1947;
  • The actual assassin of JFK firing on the President from his position on the “grassy knoll” in Dallas, on November 22, 1963;
  • A long-range shot of what appeared to be a triceratops and a tyrannosaurus rex in a life and death struggle;
  • An autographed photo of Adolph Hitler, standing in a heavy fur-lined parka on an Antarctic glacier, glaring out over the ocean, six years after he was assumed to have died;
  • Julius Caesar bleeding to death on the floor of the Theatre of Pompey with several senators rushing away, on the Ides of March, 44 BC;
  • A number of laminated Polaroid shots taken of the Crucifixion.

Less disturbing were a few shots of what he claimed to be Marilyn Monroe emerging obviously smashed from The Brown Derby Restaurant in Hollywood escorted by an equally smashed unidentified man.

When asked, Fluegel adamantly refused us access to the original files, negatives, or to copies, and even barred us from taking photos of them. “Uh uh,” he said. “No level of proof is enough for the skeptics, and this homeboy isn’t going to play that game.”

The CSIG is available only through his website, www.YourTimeToGo.com, retailing at $399.95. However, Fluegel informed us, a lucrative deal with Best Buy is in the works. “I’m very excited by this,” says Fluegel. “Time travel really is everyone’s right. Making the device more easily accessible is an embodiment of the Democratic Ideal.”

Early on, Fluegel was outspoken about other individuals copying and selling his invention, but, he explains, after having his credibility and sanity challenged by every lawyer he approached, he later recognized the importance of cooperation in the embryonic field. To that end he created the Personal Time Travel Coalition, inviting all interested parties to the same table. Their slogan? Let’s stand together — they’re going to think we’re crazy either way.

In doing this, he has become a personality in fringe circles, and tickets to UFO and New Age conventions regularly sell out when he is scheduled to speak. Fans of his have been likened to rock star groupies, to The Grateful Dead’s “Dead Heads,” or the followers of the late Timothy Leary.

Celebrities who have endorsed his products and work include luminaries such as Paul Reubens and Bob Goldthwait.

“People of all walks of life want to hear the truth,” says Fluegel.

Until the appearance of the issue concerning the year 2017, the group’s mantra was: “We Have the Future Surrounded!”

A Government Temporal Conspiracy?

Fluegel’s claim is that Time has a number of natural “harmonic densities” and the American government has been able to “phase cancel” anything trying to cross the “density” that occurs at November 29, 2017.

“This is nothing to take lightly,” says Fluegel. “It’s like kissing the asphalt,” He raised his upper lip and indicated his front teeth, which are heavily chipped. “I know diff from experienfe.”

How does his organization come to the conclusion there is some “government temporal conspiracy”?

“Look: I’m just a simple country doctor. I was reading a Scientific American one day, and I stumbled across an aspect of quantum physics that inspired me to do some of research. With a little knowledge and the right electronic components I was able to create a device that allowed me to freely move through time and cross into any alternate timeline of history I chose.”

Alternate timelines of history?

“Do you remember the television show Sliders? It’s surprisingly a lot like that. Clearly there are insiders who are feeding the truth to us, and if the only path available is a dopey TV show, then that’s what they’ll use.

“This is the old disinformation game. It’s like that old joke about the huge pile of horse manure in the little girl’s room. Yeah, you’re repelled by what you see and smell, but because there’s so much manure there must be a pony in it somewhere.”

And what if there really isn’t a pony?

Fluegel’s response to that was a blank stare, suggesting it had never occurred to him.

“Anyway,” Fluegel continued, “if I can create a device like this with my own time and money, imagine what the government could do with the resources of minds like Einstein and Oppenheimer and all those Nazi war criminals, and those trillions of dollars no one seems to be able to account for.

“Beyond this we have sources who have gleaned information that validates our suspicions. Naturally, giving out their names would endanger their lives.”

When asked if we could endanger just one of them a little bit, Fluegel appeared annoyed.

“What you need to understand is that what finally moved me to organize this consciousness raising event was a darker aspect we’ve stumbled upon. A theoretical physicist among our ranks has determined that there is a high probability that when the rest of the world reaches November 29, 2017, the shock wave of the impact will result in massive global Earth changes — or if the energy density is high enough, will rupture the space-time continuum and cause it to disintegrate. This would be the end of our physical universe.

“Simply, this is madness.”

Oddly, this was what we were thinking.

We asked Fluegel how he sleeps knowing what he knows. “A lot of drugs,” was the answer, though it was hard to tell if this was sarcasm.

Parallel Realities?

Alarm clockWhen asked in jest if he was from this reality, Fluegel’s face unexpectedly relaxed.

“I see I’m finally talking to someone who grasps what we’re trying to say. We get damned little of that.

“To answer your question, my timeline was very similar. The only difference I could find is that Jimmy Stewart was the lead actor in To Kill a Mockingbird and Gregory Peck was the lead in It’s a Wonderful Life, and both movies were flops there.

“I have been told that about two years ago I had a heavy German accent and the timeline I came from never fought World War II.”

We couldn’t help but ask if this was hard on a marriage. Fluegel noted: “In this timeline I’m not married. I did run across one where I had three wives, but I probably shouldn’t talk about that.”

When we finally let down our guard and openly expressed our skepticism, Fluegel’s nostrils flared, he accused us of being part of “the conspiracy,” and asked us to leave, showing us the business end of an AR-15. He could not be reached for further questions.

Best Buy was later contacted for comment on negotiations to sell the CSIG though their chain. When reached, their spokesman guffawed convulsively for a full minute and a half, reported experiencing chest pains, and needed to defer until a later time.

Douglas Adams and Kurt Vonnegut, both being dead, were also unavailable for comment.

  • More information about Concerned Citizens for Temporal Freedom can be found at their website www.CitizensForFreeTime.org.
  • Dr. Lester Fluegel’s Chrono-Synclastic Infundibulum Generator is available through his business website: www.YourTimeToGo.com.

• • •

Copyright © 2008-2013, by Daniel Brenton. All Rights Reserved.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Sam Hobbs

The $399 price point is a little high. He obviously hasn’t realized that the critical price point needs to be near $100 to get the casual purchaser interested. At that price, he would be deluged with orders. Of course, by purchasing two devices or three or four, you could hop scotch ahead first to 2017, then to to 2021, then to 2025, etc. Eventually you would find the time when there was a breakthrough and you could come back with the $10 special and compete the original right out of business. Obviously the man needs some instruction from truly creative minds.

Reply

Daniel Brenton

Sam –

I suspect charisma doesn’t necessarily translate into global marketing skills. (And pulling an AR-15 on a reporter probably isn’t very good P.R., either.)

– Daniel

Reply

Angela

This made me laugh but then I got uncomfortable thinking hey, wonder if this has any truth to it and so then I had to google it and I did just to make sure. Because ya know, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Not funnier though. :) (Did find one hilarious photo of a time travel protest sign out there. And, there probably are parallel universes. So you’re not so far off. But you probably knew that.)
Angela recently posted…As the Mayan Red Herring Swims By…My Profile

Reply

Daniel Brenton

Angela –

Thank you.

You may find these amusing … or not:

“A Time Traveler’s ‘Dangerous Information’”

And this:

Time Travel 2002

(All I can say is, “let the buyer beware.”)

– Daniel

Reply

Marcy Coate

“When we asked if could endanger just one of them a little bit, Fluegel appeared annoyed.” hehehe!!!

Reply

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